Pressure

Okay, where to start…

Hello, everyone. I feel extremely awkward coming back to you all after all this time that I neglected you. I know that that is not a rational thought as my odds are having a devout following are minuscule but I feel as if that is what I address you people as. Regardless, I shall be brief.

This place started off as a sanctuary for me in the beginning of this year but as my mental fortitude worsened and I drowned in my handful of mental illnesses, this became as much of a hell-hole for me as all my other safehouses. I have changed considerably over the course of the year and what I admire about myself is that I actually managed to get up despite falling as hard as I did and having one of my best friends torn away from me.

I don’t want your pity and I don’t want your concern. It is futile to worry over something you can do nothing about. In a few hours, I am deactivating my page. I am noot going to delete it as I do wish to keep its content for personal reference but this marks the end of Dreamer’s Paradise.

I no longer dream commonly anymore, it is a rarity that plagues me at night when I do.

Farewell, people of the internet.

 

I had a Bird Pee on my Nipple Earlier…

The experience of walking indoors from taking a view of the Diwali fireworks only to have your shirt smeared with bird is not a nice one. If at all possible. Avoid it.

What I want to do here is just jot down a few of my ideas in case I get swept up and lose track of everything again.

The following points shall most likely make no sense at all and are likely to confuzzle you. Read at your own risk…

Continue reading “I had a Bird Pee on my Nipple Earlier…”

The Last of My Energy

A Daily Moan that some guy tries to relate to the Daily Posts Daily Prompt even though he Hasn’t Looked at it yet and has the title of His post in Awkward Caps

Okay cool, so the prompt for today is Giant. Well then, allow me to moan.

Today was tiring. Yesterday was far worse but I have not been able to dig myself out of this workload. I spent Friday playing Mtg. Saturday trying not to die. And today, Sunday, I both tried not to die in the morning and played magic in the evening.

My sleep (if I even got any) was awful. On Saturday, I woke up with nothing but a towel on. I shivered out of the bed and stumbled across the sweltering furnace that was my room into the pathetic dribble of water that is meant to be a shower. Sunday, I honestly don’t know if I slept. I think I did since time did pass relatively fast at times but I just lay there, in my bed, cuddling my friend’s doorstop all night long waiting for my brain to switch off and go to sleep. (Her name is Vladina and she is gorgeous. The doorstop, not the friend. Friend is gawjus though ’cause I don’t want to be beaten.)

I had more to say here but I have run out of mental processing power. I wanted to watch anime after this though. But I don’t have any more good anime or fast enough internet *_*

So how does ths post relate to the prompt of giant? Well, it doesn’t and I’m not going to make it try to. Sorry not sorry.

Summertime Sadness

Okay yes. I do like this song by Lana Del Rey. For both its niceness and the fact that I can really relate to it but my word have I heard it a lot recently. Wayyyyy to much. I’m very tempted to un-heart it from my Deezer playlist. Although if I get started on that then it’ll probably end up like my facebook. Half cleaned and half messed and with no work done. Okay. I’m done for now. I’d like to come back later tonight and update the site and approve and reply to comments and whatnot. Maybe I’ll ramble on a bit on my new method of getting things done. (insert thinking face here).

Apologies About the ‘Spam’

Dear readers,

No. I am not the one sending you spam if you are getting any. But if you are, what are they asking for and have you replied? I think the best way to deal with people who try to waste your time is to waste their time right back. What I am apologising for is the trifecta of the three assignments that have kept me so far away.

I plan on updating here more regularly but I don’t want to speak of where I came through. Yes, I fully acknowledge that this is me running away from the past but I am not ready yet. See that? The keyword yet. That is meant to portray that I have hope. At least some. And I do. Just not a lot.

But alas (love that saying) I shall now fill your inboxes with my research assignments so that you may openly judge my work.

The Last Lines from Gatsby

A Daily Update: Pretend

I am in two minds of where I want to go with this site. I could change things around and try and help the people in my kind of a situation. But there are tonnes of those already and I doubt I’d have much of an impact. If I can be there for someone like how people have been there for me then that’s enough. I’m sick and tired of pretending that things are alright. They aren’t.

At times like this, I find comfort in very few things. I would list them for you so that you can use them on others who are in a similar situation to me but they fluctuate so rapidly that what normally calms us, can aggravate us. The only thing that has never failed me is the breathing of another. Words are pretty useless when the brain does allow you to believe them. If you are burdened with helping someone suffering from depression then just be there. You need not say anything. Just be there and breathe.