My New Method

Each Day, I create or update the list of things I need to do on that day. If I know about things in advance, then I’ll make a note of it in advance. I know that it is unwise for me to trust my memory so I resort to Google Keep to keep my life organised.

So far this is manageable. Only a small number of days do I not end up completing the items on the list. This number has been increasing as of late and I am not too sure if it is due to my increased activity or my noting of items on the list that I am unsure of if I need to do or not. I think I need to stick to things that I need to do. Nothing else.

I think I want to be more active on this blog. It provides me with a great outlet that allows me to achieve soundness of mind and I get to feel as if I am helping others. I want to do more though. Not just because the more I help others the better I feel, I want to do something good with my life. As a person who suffers from Anxiety and Depression, I feel as if I ought to show what it is like for me to live with it. I have reserved a youtube account called Living With Your Demons

I am uncertain of whether I can commit to it or not. I know that it will be hard, I have yet to conclude what I expect to get out of this or even if it is a good idea. I include the link here for those of you who wish to see what I have. Currently, the page is blank. I’m making a note to add an audio explanation to the site tomorrow. Or perhaps I should just note to give the site some thought.

What would I speak of?
Methods of combatting mental illness

How often would I upload?
Once a month or once every two weeks. Depending on how long research takes

What format would I employ?
Basically audio voice over with animated slides

How many hours of work will it take?
I’d imagine 6 hrs research. 4 hours recording. 2 hrs script writing. 1 hr editing.
And that’s a conservative estimate

Will I be able to manage the workload and stress induced by it?
At Once a month, I think so

Should I enable comments?
This is a question that I think I can only answer once I have a better idea of what my content would be. I am thinking of having no comments but keeping a link to a subreddit where the topic can be discussed at length.

Who else do I link to/what channels should I follow?
Boyinaboand. Wedge. Boogie.

Will I be able to survive the onslaught from youtube?
Can be avoided if subreddit option is taken

How long can I commit for?
Let’s say an episode on each main method of combating depression and/anxiety with a personal musing on how each suggestion worked for me.

How many episodes should I do if I should even do it episodically?
Answered above

At what point do I give Patreon serious consideration?
If it goes beyond the predicted episode count.

What would my badge/logo be? Tagline? Art?
“Keep Talking”

Do I host a discord server for this?

How professional is this channel going to be?

How much do I reveal about myself and those in my life?

Would I need to write scripts or should I do it free-form with only a few pointers?

What other channels could I look to for inspiration?
Wedge from the Mana Source. Dave from BoyinaBand.

What do I name the Channel?
Also unknown.



Okay, where to start…

Hello, everyone. I feel extremely awkward coming back to you all after all this time that I neglected you. I know that that is not a rational thought as my odds are having a devout following are minuscule but I feel as if that is what I address you people as. Regardless, I shall be brief.

This place started off as a sanctuary for me in the beginning of this year but as my mental fortitude worsened and I drowned in my handful of mental illnesses, this became as much of a hell-hole for me as all my other safehouses. I have changed considerably over the course of the year and what I admire about myself is that I actually managed to get up despite falling as hard as I did and having one of my best friends torn away from me.

I don’t want your pity and I don’t want your concern. It is futile to worry over something you can do nothing about. In a few hours, I am deactivating my page. I am noot going to delete it as I do wish to keep its content for personal reference but this marks the end of Dreamer’s Paradise.

I no longer dream commonly anymore, it is a rarity that plagues me at night when I do.

Farewell, people of the internet.


I had a Bird Pee on my Nipple Earlier…

The experience of walking indoors from taking a view of the Diwali fireworks only to have your shirt smeared with bird is not a nice one. If at all possible. Avoid it.

What I want to do here is just jot down a few of my ideas in case I get swept up and lose track of everything again.

The following points shall most likely make no sense at all and are likely to confuzzle you. Read at your own risk…

Continue reading “I had a Bird Pee on my Nipple Earlier…”

The Last of My Energy

A Daily Moan that some guy tries to relate to the Daily Posts Daily Prompt even though he Hasn’t Looked at it yet and has the title of His post in Awkward Caps

Okay cool, so the prompt for today is Giant. Well then, allow me to moan.

Today was tiring. Yesterday was far worse but I have not been able to dig myself out of this workload. I spent Friday playing Mtg. Saturday trying not to die. And today, Sunday, I both tried not to die in the morning and played magic in the evening.

My sleep (if I even got any) was awful. On Saturday, I woke up with nothing but a towel on. I shivered out of the bed and stumbled across the sweltering furnace that was my room into the pathetic dribble of water that is meant to be a shower. Sunday, I honestly don’t know if I slept. I think I did since time did pass relatively fast at times but I just lay there, in my bed, cuddling my friend’s doorstop all night long waiting for my brain to switch off and go to sleep. (Her name is Vladina and she is gorgeous. The doorstop, not the friend. Friend is gawjus though ’cause I don’t want to be beaten.)

I had more to say here but I have run out of mental processing power. I wanted to watch anime after this though. But I don’t have any more good anime or fast enough internet *_*

So how does ths post relate to the prompt of giant? Well, it doesn’t and I’m not going to make it try to. Sorry not sorry.

Summertime Sadness

Okay yes. I do like this song by Lana Del Rey. For both its niceness and the fact that I can really relate to it but my word have I heard it a lot recently. Wayyyyy to much. I’m very tempted to un-heart it from my Deezer playlist. Although if I get started on that then it’ll probably end up like my facebook. Half cleaned and half messed and with no work done. Okay. I’m done for now. I’d like to come back later tonight and update the site and approve and reply to comments and whatnot. Maybe I’ll ramble on a bit on my new method of getting things done. (insert thinking face here).

Apologies About the ‘Spam’

Dear readers,

No. I am not the one sending you spam if you are getting any. But if you are, what are they asking for and have you replied? I think the best way to deal with people who try to waste your time is to waste their time right back. What I am apologising for is the trifecta of the three assignments that have kept me so far away.

I plan on updating here more regularly but I don’t want to speak of where I came through. Yes, I fully acknowledge that this is me running away from the past but I am not ready yet. See that? The keyword yet. That is meant to portray that I have hope. At least some. And I do. Just not a lot.

But alas (love that saying) I shall now fill your inboxes with my research assignments so that you may openly judge my work.