Raison D’être

A Daily Response to the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Purpose

I have been waiting for months for this kind of prompt! I actually jumped a bit in my seat when I saw this – and me being excited about something like this is a rarity. Then I realised I hadn’t started studying for my exam tomorrow (-_-). Well, now that I have that all out-of-the-way I can tackle this topic in the full force of my nihilistic dreams!

Simply put, I don’t believe that my life has any objective purpose. I find that is the most pleasing news I could have ever heard (just shy of that is my crush saying that she likes me back). Being without a purpose means that I can do whatever the bloody hell I set my heart on and I would still feel a sense of accomplishment. I can do what I like, when I like, because I like it that way. I am free from that sense of obligation that binds others to their destiny. Although, my thoughts on freedom are…depressing. And my morality dictates harsh obligations…So let me rather say that I get to embrace the illusion of freedom of the will in its full force. I get to feel like I am completely free.

But I don’t want to talk about that. Well, not now anyway. My Raison d’être is simply nothing. He who fights with demons should see that he does not become one of them. And when you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss also gazes back into you (Friedrich Nietzsche). I stared into the void and saw the stark darkness of the endless pit before me. My only thought was that someone should light this place up. The void is free space. The void is ultimate freedom. The void is just crying for our creation. In this hungry pit, we are unbound from our leashes and can strike at the world with the full force of our child-like creativity. If I were to say that I have any purpose, then my purpose is to stare into the abyss and embrace it.

I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say (Flannery O’Connor). It seems as if this has been what I thought my purpose to be all along. To look into the void and think: “I really like the darkness, but what if we give it a focal point? With a smidgen of oil paint here and some poetry there, we could get a nice symmetry going.” The abyss dictates that I have no purpose, but I look at it and wish to enhance the meaning that I see that it already has. The darkness and fear that lies inside these endless walls, is the root of all creation.

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