Locus of Rage

A Daily Response to the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Angry

Anger is one of those things that I think people think wrongly of. Either that or I just have a twisted interpretation of the concept. In my mind, if someone gets angry at you then all they are really showing is their level of care. Nobody gets angry at things they don’t care about unless they just enjoy being angry (but is that even possible).

Rage. Vexation. Iration. And my favourite, Fury. All of these words show an intense distaste, over things we care about. I’m told that people actually feel better after expressing their anger and irritation. That expressing their displeasure helps to calm them and, sometimes, makes them feel like they managed to make a difference. Anger one of those few emotions that have eluded me. Anger and love in its romantic sense. I cannot say that I have ever had either. Sure, I have feigned anger to get my point across. But even then, those who know me are able to pick up on my control over my body, instead of the typical flaring rage that scorches all in its path.

I honestly think that the reason I have never felt anger is because I simply don’t care enough. I can’t say that I have ever lost control of myself in a blind fury. I wake each day and ask myself if that is a good thing. Anger is dangerous, so surely if I don’t exhibit that threat then I am better off? But if I just don’t get angry because I don’t care enough then that can’t be a good thing either? I’m of the belief that we should all have balance in our lives. Not too many book binges nor too little salt. In balance comes harmony and in harmony, we can achieve peace. But I want eudaimonia, I don’t really care for personal peace. Sure, I say that I don’t get angry but I do experience the lesser evil – irritation – and maybe if it builds up high enough then I will experience anger. In the past, I just let go, stopped caring and moved on. It is not hard to see why this could make me a fickle character even if I do not wish to admit it. If I really want to achieve eudaimonia then maybe I will experience, or have to experience, anger on the journey there. I hope that is the case. If there is something I care about enough to feel extreme remorse over then maybe I could feel anger towards whatever causes my sadness.

Maybe it is the topic, maybe it is because I am in a ‘mood’, maybe it is jus the exam stress, malicious sleep cycle, my incessant dreaming of my own demise, the feeling of revulsion in my gut that spawns no other physical or mental symptoms. Like most things,  I don’t know. I can postulate and propose ideas but I come off none the wiser. Who would have known that the prompt of anger would leave me feeling sadder.

 

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